Resolution

I’m not sure how necessary resolutions are. It seems that most people approach the new year as a chance to reinvent or re-imagine some aspect of their life. I’m not sure there needs to be a formal declaration of resolution, but what do I know? So I made one anyway, but didn’t fully understand it until I was asked at a New Years Day dinner what my resolution was. I found that trying to express it to a roomful of people made it more tangible and real.

My resolution is to be more conscientious of what I bring into my life. This idea started in a material way as in I was going to be more deliberate with the literal items that I brought into my house. I realized that I had enough stuff. That, in combination with the accumulation of kids’ stuff over the recent past resulted in packed storage spaces and shrinking living spaces. I was looking for another gatekeeper to answer to when my wants run wild.

When I want something it tends to only pass through two gatekeepers. The first being, ‘is it within my means,’ and the second being, ‘do I really need it.’ Usually the first one greatly outweighs the second. As in, if I can afford it then I justify some way of actually needing it. Even if that justification is, ‘life is short’ or ‘treat yourself’. This is a recipe for clutter and over-consumption. Especially with the staggering amount of advertising vying for my attention and dollars. It can be tough to resist that new product and that little dopamine hit that comes with it.

So my initial thought was to be more intentional about the things I bring into my house. But from that grew an even bigger idea in that I was going to be more cognizant of all the the things that I brought into my life. Are there toxic relationships that are pulling me down? Do I say yes too often to be nice when really I should say no? Am I allowing my attention to be hijacked by things that are robbing my time? These are just a few examples, but even in the few days that I’ve been trying to implement this strategy I’ve noticed just how often I operate on autopilot and how often habit rules my world.

I’ve eliminated quite a few ‘bad’ habits in the previous few years – the habits of a young single man that must be dealt with when he has a family and his mortality is starting to be realized. There was struggle in breaking those habits, but I’m healthy and admittedly happier not having them in my life. This led to a sense that I was the master of my habits. I’ve come to realize that I was quite wrong.

I am still being ruled on some level by habits that are taking from me time, energy, and mental bandwidth. Things better used elsewhere. My goal with this resolution is to force myself to take an extra thought before I buy something, commit to an event, accept a job or new client, bring a new person into my life, open my phone, etc. Those are only a few examples in my own life. I’m sure I’ll find more as the days, weeks, and months of the year carry on. And my list of habitual time and energy robbers is assuredly different than yours.

For some people a very direct and defined resolution is best I assume. Saying that you’re going to run X-amount of miles a week or go on the Keto diet or only watch an hour of TV a day are fine resolutions. That strategy works for some, but in my life I’ve found that when I made my resolution this rigid it had a built-in expiry date. Once I missed that running goal for a week my exercise routine fell apart. Once I ate that cinnamon roll my diet was dead. Once I binge watched the fourth season of the The Office in two days my resolution was done. With the new approach there is flex and bend in the resolution.

This resolution of trying to be more conscientious of the things I bring into my life is relying heavily on the words trying and more. These two words give me the opportunity to make mistakes and not throw away my resolution. It allows those mistakes to be learning opportunities as opposed to excuses to return to the old, comfortable habits. By putting into words at that dinner what my resolution was and by using the words try and more I’ve empowered myself. I’m able to start working on better habits instead of saying that I’m going to fix everything in one attempt simply because a few numbers on the calendar changed.

I hope you have found value in this. Future posts are less about me personally and more about abstract concepts and ideas. Things that I feel are overlooked or understated. I appreciate your attention and thanks for reading.

PS. Thanks for hosting the dinner and the encouragement M.E.