It’s 2022 and to have an expectation is foolish. 2021 furthered an existing assumption of mine about the futility of expectation. This is not to say that one shouldn’t get excited about anything or even hold some small, hopefully trivial expectations, but to base one’s state of mood and emotions upon arbitrary expectations now seems silly.
I, like many people, saw the coming of 2020 as a serious opportunity for a new start. Then in early 2020 the world fell apart. So I pinned a lot of hope on 2021. Not only did I expect the pandemic to be managed enough to start returning to some of my lost enjoyable activities, but there was also the carried over optimism from 2020 that needed a place to flourish. Unfortunately 2021 didn’t fully deliver on those expectations, but it’s wasn’t that bad either. Actually, if I hadn’t put those heightened expectations on 2021 then I think it would have been a pretty good year with all things considered.
Life is a Carnival is a song by The Band. It’s the first song on their 1971 Cahoots album. My interpretation of the song is that there isn’t much one can do other than experience, and hopefully enjoy, the carnival. This is my approach to existence in 2022. It’s not an abandoning of goals or living in some perpetual hedonistic ‘Now’. Rather it is a shift in perspective. Seeing this existence through a different lens. Perceiving life as the carnival that I’m lucky enough to experience but almost entirely have no control over.
The nature of my landscaper profession is that I have a tremendous amount of work from March until about early December. Throw some kids, small vacations, home improvement, and the rest of the demands of American middle-class existence in there and it leaves little time for pondering the deeper questions – let alone having the time to write about them.
The plus side to my profession is that I have an off-season. This is where the manically typed thoughts I put in my notes app while the mower is running get a chance to be fully sussed out. I usually take January through mid-March to further explore ideas that presented themselves in the working months. I also get this time to reflect on the year that was and adjust course for the year ahead. Every job has it’s quirks and it’s taken me quite some time to figure out how to effectively use the ones unique to mine.
For the next few months I plan to post some of those thoughts and ideas here. As I’ve stated elsewhere on this site, these articles are really nothing more than my attempts to answer questions I have about an existence that seems to become more complicated the older I get. I suppose at some point in our lives we think we will one day understand it all. One day this will all make sense and we can then get on with whatever it is we are supposed to be doing.
Truth seems to be that we will never really figure much out. If we can accept the fact that we don’t really know as much as we thought we did then maybe we could start walking the path that leads to some sort of inner peace. Maybe with that knowledge we could better recognize and further appreciate the great moments and people we have in our unique experience of life.
I don’t answer many, or probably any, of life’s major questions here. I’m not that smart of a guy and recognizing that has very much set me free. Realizing my limits when it comes to my level of control and my capabilities has made me much more empathetic, accepting, and forgiving of others and myself. I don’t have some magic bullet and likely neither does anyone else so let’s take it easy on each other and ourselves. The only people that are assuredly wrong are the ones that emphatically declare that they solely hold the right answers.
My writings here are an examination of the questions and ideas that I find interesting. I use writing as a tool to try to figure out the delicate nuances of my existence and life in general. I don’t know if my perspectives have more value than anyone else’s – in fact I suspect that they don’t – but perhaps I am wrong. Perhaps I’ve read, heard, or thought of something that one of my readers hasn’t considered. Perhaps that has some value for someone. Perhaps I’m putting a lot of faith in that perhaps, but I’m going to write and post anyway.
I’m making a concerted effort this year to keep my articles concise and to release them on a more regular schedule. I’m very grateful for your time and attention. Our attention is quite precious and lately we seem to have the tendency to be quite careless with it.
Luckily our attention is one of the very few things that we have almost complete control over. I am very appreciative that you’ve given me some of yours. If you choose to give me more I’ll be doing my best to ensure it isn’t wasted. Perhaps the ideas discussed in the next few months here can help everyone see and experience life as the carnival that it is.
Expect the first post early next week.
Happy New Year and thanks for reading.
Billy's Briefs 