**A quick note**
Hello reader. Thanks for finding the time to visit and take in my perspective. I write because it is a way to make sense of the things that I struggle with in my own life. When I write I find I’m able to cut through the clutter and noise of the outside world. An outside world that we are so connected to that it may seem impossible to get respite from at times.
These musings have been my way of turning inward and away from the barrage of chaos that exists on our screens, in our politics, and often in our society at large. Through writing I often find a clarity that is otherwise elusive. The pieces that really resonate with me find their way to this space. It is my hope that whatever peace or perspective they brought to me is of value to others.
I am as average a person as can be, so my struggles are likely relatable to you. I am no expert, but do have a few talents that I feel make this a worthy endeavor. This writing exercise has helped me to calibrate my values compass so I can try to navigate this existence in a way that makes sense. Perhaps they are of value to you on your journey…I hope that are anyway.
If you feel that they add something positive to your life then please share this with someone who also might benefit. Also subscribe and I’ll do my best to put a bit of that respite I was talking about earlier directly in your inbox every Friday. Thanks for reading!
**Now, on with it…**
Words matter is a series of writings where I explore the words that we commonly use in our society. The way we use language can dictate how we operate within the society. The nuance of words and phrases frames the way we perceive our lives.
For this piece I will be looking at the difference between the words ‘want’ and ‘need’. On the surface all of us know the difference between these two words. To need something is to require it for a basic survival necessity – food, water, shelter, clothing. To want something is to desire something not for survival. Want is a luxury and Need is a necessity.
I often hear the phrase ‘you need’ or ‘I need’ or ‘we need’ in situations where the correct verb should be ‘want’. While this may seem a silly matter of semantics, it can actually skew the way that we see our society and our place in it. When we say we ‘need’ something we move that thing into the realm of necessity without regard to whether it actually is necessary.
A quick example from my little existence is my children’s swim clothes. They have last years trunks, which were probably hand-me-downs from relatives anyway. As I was getting things ready to send them to a swim lessons I thought to myself, ‘these kids need new trunks’. The trunks are not worn out. The trunks still fit them. The trunks are not soiled or stained. So why do they ‘need’ new trunks?
I may ‘want’ new trunks for them, but they do not ‘need’ new trunks. This isn’t to say that one isn’t completely free to purchase based solely on the desire to have something new – or to want. I am not trying to put a value judgement on this or rank it in some hierarchy of values.
All I am trying to do is point out that when we replace the word ‘want’ with the word ‘need’ it can alter our perception. It can diminish our satisfaction with what we currently have. And on a higher level it can leave us constantly gazing at the impossible-to-catch horizon of ‘more’.
It is perfectly fine to want something new, but when we see a ‘want’ as a ‘need’ then it can make us feel as if our life is lacking. When we don’t feel we have what is necessary to survive then we may feel a tinge of failure or perpetual unease. It can pull us from a state of gratitude into a state of deficiency.
There is a great deal of money and effort put towards propagating this notion of turning a ‘want’ into a ‘need’. It is essentially the goal of almost every marketing division of every company on the planet. It is to frame something that you don’t really need for our survival into something that we feel we can’t live without.
Just to reiterate one last time so this isn’t being mistaken as a call to action for some type of society-wide austerity or minimalist movement. It is perfectly fine to desire things that we do not need. I am not putting a value judgement on wanting creature comforts or luxury items. Instead I am just looking at the words we use and how the misuse of those words can distort the perception of our reality.
In this case, the misuse of these two words can change our perception of reality from one of abundance into one of scarcity. We can see our lives through a lens of unfulfilled desires as opposed to a lens of contentment. We can be made to feel as though we don’t have ‘enough’ to find happiness and satisfaction. We may be framing our lives as a constant state of striving and deprivation.
When we say we ‘need’ something that we actually just ‘want’ we are creating an unnecessary deficiency in our lives. And who is that serving? It most certainly is not serving us. Likely it is only robbing us of our most precious resources of time, energy, and money.
Most of the time the resulting purchase of that manufactured ‘need’, aka ‘want’, only produces a hit of dopamine that quickly dissipates. In the end the entire experience has robbed us of a few bucks that would have been better put toward a family experience, a savings account, something one really needs, or even a luxury item that one truly desires.
Let’s look out for our fellow humans. I appreciate your attention and hope you’ve found value in this. Thanks for reading and don’t forget to subscribe!
Billy's Briefs 