Control the Controllables

Controlling the controllables is a very simple concept that I was first introduced to about twenty years ago when I was managing restaurants. It was the mantra of one of my regional managers. At the time, I agreed to take a job in central Florida as an assistant manager at a location that was in quite a bit of trouble – though I didn’t know the extent of it when I accepted the transfer.

I was twenty-two at the time and full of energy and ambition. Spending my life to that point in Southwestern Pennsylvania, an opportunity to live and work in Florida seemed to be a dream – sunshine and beaches, right? My stint there only lasted about eighteen months, and what an eighteen months it was.

On the day I was to start my first official shift, which was the night shift, I was awoken at 8 AM by my regional manager. He called notifying me that no one had shown up to open the store that day. His initial inclination was that I had dropped the ball on my first day. I informed him that I was scheduled for the evening shift but would gladly race in to get the place open – eager to show my worth.

Sometime after the lunch rush the general manager of my location came running through the door. Her hair was wet, her eyes bloodshot, and she was in a panic. I didn’t get the full story, and being quite naive, I just said, ‘I got your back.’ Again, I was trying to prove my utility as someone that can be counted on when things go array. All the while assuming that this episode was an anomaly.

It was not. The place was a disaster. In a short time I learned that basically everyone in the place had a drug problem. The general manager and assistant general manager where taking large sums of money from the petty cash drawer to buy cocaine. It was the typical drug selling and using scheme. Their idea was to use the restaurants petty cash to front their purchase, sell enough to replenish the petty cash, and either make a profit or provide them with a personal stash free-of-charge. It seems the latter of those options was their preferred route.

This is the opposite of controlling the controllables. They were not in control of anything. Somehow it fell on me to try to turn this place around. Now, I am no saint. However, this was an untenable situation. Soon their scheme was brought to light and there was a mass firing. Few folks remained. It was myself and another young manager tasked with steadying the ship until reinforcements with more experience could arrive.

‘How in the hell is this supposed to work,’ I conveyed to my regional manager? Here I was, a young and fairly inexperienced guy trying to build this thing back from ashes. On top of that, the other manager soon got fired due to his inability to control his anger and threatening a cook with a kitchen knife…I know, right!?! So this regional manager’s advice was to control the controllables. Recognize that some things weren’t going to be easy and that certain things were going to fail, but find what I could control and focus almost solely on that.

In the restaurant world I found that I could control my labor costs, my food costs, the scheduling of front and back of house, who I hired and fired, and most importantly my attitude. Since I’ve moved on from that line of work, I’ve carried that idea of controlling the controllables with me. In my day to day life I can usually control my attitude, but I can also control where I put my attention, where I put my energy, and where I spend my money.

Probably the most important lesson in all of this is that I’ve honed the ability to recognize what I ‘cannot’ control. This isn’t to say that I can always easily let go of what I cannot control, but I am able to have that tool in my toolbox when it comes to managing my mental health and well-being.

I bring this up now for obvious reasons. I think that many people are having a hard time not being swept away by what seems a raging river of troublesome news. Be it from legitimate news sources, social media feeds, or their actual social circles. It seems that a little less than half of the population of this country is being bombarded with information that is terrifying to them.

Unfortunately, I do not have any solutions to these sweeping changes and do my best to stay far from the political fray. However, what I can speak to is what controlling the controllables has done for me and can do for you. I am not advocating for anyone to become nihilistic, delusional, or to fully disengage. It is simply a mental hack so that you can still stay informed without being consumed with dread.

Again, we can control our attention, time, and resources. If we do that wisely and with proper perspective then we have a better chance of having more control of our attitudes. Executive orders will be signed, cities will burn, institutions and infrastructure will fail, and aircraft will crash, but you can’t control any of those things. Do not pile that on top of the heap of daily stressors you’re already dealing with. Those things are not your burden.

When we don’t internalize these things or make them part of our daily drama then we are able to be more present for the people and moments that matter. We are also able to free up our bandwidth to better effect change when the opportunities do arise for us to exercise our limited amount of control.

Do not become paralyzed by that which is far, far, far beyond your control. Accept the moment and circumstances for what they are. Recognize your true level of control. Remember to breathe. Be present in the moment you are in without resistance. And be ready to act when your moments of control present themselves.

Please be good to one another and respect your fellow humans. I appreciate you time and attention. Thank you for reading.